Recurring Emotional Stress for Fire Wives

Fire Wives at one time or another will experience PTS (post traumatic stress) just because she is married to a firefighter. While what he sees each and everyday would destroy me, the type of PTS I'm speaking of is of an interpersonal level. Whatever he experiences or whatever he puts you through, he will transmit it and you will absorb it. It took me years to finally learn how to detach and let go some of the darker side that fire life can clobber you with. My husband went through a serious health crisis, had to take medications and subsequently had a personality change because of what was prescribed to him. We went through a couple of tough years there. I felt as though I didn't know my husband any longer. Fortunately we worked through it. We had counselling, we both improved our communication and expressing our needs and my husband went the natural way and no longer takes any prescriptions. Sometimes I'm amazed that we made it through. As for me, a fire wife, my God we endure a lot. But we are strong, we are indomitable and we know how to fight for our marriages  because we can see the forest through the trees and the much bigger picture of a great future together. As you know, many fire couples don't make it. But when you have two willing participants who work at healing both themselves and the marriage, you will be better than fine. Just hold on. Those winter periods feel uncertain, but please remember Spring is right around the corner.  The most important thing is that you take care of you first so that you operate from both a strong and a healthy place when you  begin to work on your marriage. Our marriages can be pretty overwhelming and intense with the focus mostly on your man. But I'm hear to tell you, you have to put yourself first. You have a life of your own and you must take care of you so you can also take care of him. I'm currently working with an editor on my book about fire marriages. I think it will really help so many couples. I can't wait to meet all of you out there when it's done and I visit your city. XO