Remembrance Day, November 11, 2021

 It is just mind blowing to think of what veterans have done for the rest of us so we can be free and have a democracy.

However, it's vital that we never forget so we don't blow up our democracy by listening to internet crap made up by people who do not use critical thinking. I remember seeing a politician who I will not name at the big V-Day Celebrations in France a couple of years back, with all of these old veterans sitting in their wheelchairs in the rain listening to his selfish, narcissistic crap. I'd never seen a more vulgar and disrespectful scene. Knowing the horrors, the smells of dead bodies, the violence, the loss, the starvation they endured so we could all sit in the comfort of our homes, eating food that has not been rationed is truly something to not be taken for granted.

However, democracy, even in Canada is extremely fragile right now. Already you've got some people not accepting the results of a recent election - a despicable move from the old he who shall not be named playbook. Nevertheless, YOU contribute to the end of all that our vets fought for and the comfort of our democracy if you perpetuate lies and conspiracies. It's that simple. Most of what is dividing us comes from evil minds paid to stoke our fears and having a laugh at how gullible we can be. Their job is to divide so so they can dismantle our democracy little by little. Remembrance Day is a very good time to seriously think about these things and check ourselves. Trust me, forethought will spare afterthought.

Savoring Your Abundant Life

 My husband paid the most beautiful tribute to me on my 54th birthday - acknowledging how it's not always been easy being married to a firefighter but how much he loves and appreciates all that I do for him and our family - how much he loves me.  Today I walked past our rose bushes and stopped.  Their beauty was truly beyond measure and their fragrance completely intoxicating.  As I took a deeper look into the beauty of the roses, I recounted the day we planted those bushes.  Much like a life.  We plant a house, we plant a family, we plant hope for our marriage and we plant a vision for our life together. Today those roses made me stop and admire my life, my family and my marriage.  These were our roses.  We intentionally planted them.  Roses are like life - beautiful and thorny!  To get those beautiful roses to bloom, you've got to cut back and cut off what no longer grows, what no longer brings life.  And then you wait, after pruning, for the blooms.  Ah, you think, I'm glad we worked through that and got through that.  Look what we have now!  Life is a rose, is a rose is a rose!  So are our relationships.  We've been married nearly 27 years and we are in love.  It takes work getting there and those thorns can really tear you apart, but the roses will come and they are splendid. XOXO

Happy New Year!!!

 Hey, Happy New Year!!  It's January 15th! You may have made resolutions and you may not have.

Here's the thing, it's only January! Making new habits and achieving your goals takes time. Be patient and be kind to yourself. Simply begin again...and then again and again.

Take notes of your better days and your not great ones too. Practicing good habits consistently requires setting up your environment and your mind-set for success. On the days I lunge into the "news" without centering myself first, I find myself feeling disconnected and "unmagical." On the days I wake up to some good music, do some writing and stretching, set my intention and count my blessings, I feel like a million bucks all day. We are half way through the month and it's Friday!

Why not review the past two weeks and see what habits you need to incorporate or eliminate. Make your list.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone! XOXO

There Is So Much In The Air

Well if 2020 wasn't already a challenge and to many a blindside, there is also an American election on Tuesday and I'm worried.  I'm worried for all of the obvious reasons but mostly for the unrest this will all cause.  I've already decided NOT to watch any of it on TV.  In 2016 I woke up with one of the sickest feelings I'd ever experienced.  I woke up sick that morning in November 2016 because of the massive division, violence and unrest.  It has only grown. Everyone came together so humanitarianly after 9-11.  We helped, held and looked after each other, but look what has transpired.  Who would ever guess that the great super power country would be on the brink of civil war.  Who would have ever guessed that the ugly spread of misinformation and that the assault of truth would be at the forefront.  I will stay low and be in prayer this weekend.  Yes, I live in Canada, but the sepsis is seeping over our boarder.  Evil unleashed. Maybe it will work out.  Maybe one day there will be some normalcy again. Maybe one day there will be diplomacy and integrity and empathy again. The fish rots from the head down.  Where this will go nobody knows.  It could be the very end or it could be a pleasant blindside. It's in God's hands.  

I love being a Fire Wife!

 This past year my firefighter and I celebrated 26 years of marriage.  I am so proud of the life that we've built together.  I'm even more proud that we are in the stage of what I call in my book, Fire Wife, "The Juicy Peach" stage. 

 I call it the juicy peach stage because the actual peach tree is a very sensitive one and takes real tend, trial and error.  More often than not it takes YEARS before those juicy peaches start to even show up on those branches.  Doesn't that sound like a marriage to you?

While some couples may have had a smoother relationship together, I do know for certain that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship.  All relationships go through rough patches and growing pains and  I am so glad that my hubby and I grew and got through.  

While the EBOOK of Fire Wife is out, I won't actually really launch it until the paperback is out.  There have been significant setbacks that have been totally out of my hands that have caused it's delay, but hopefully not to much longer.  I cannot wait for you to hold it in your hands and read it!  In some ways it's a love letter to you.  It's also a guide for what you can expect to get through and some suggestions, suggestions wrapped in experience, for how to successfully journey through those unique challenges.  

  Once upon a time I did not for a second believe that my husband and I were going to make it.  This fire life can be stifling when you are a freedom lover. You can't be as spontaneous because of shift work and you certainly cannot phone up the chief or the captain when YOU have a problem.  There is procedure and there are processes that must be adhered to and that can be hard. 

 There may have been a messy middle in our marriage as we navigated his new career, but I held onto my dreams too and I think having a solid self and a solid life apart from the department is pivotal to your own happiness.  They say that the fairy tale of a marriage is at the beginning of it but I beg to differ.  The true joy for me with my firefighter is now, when after being married for a long time and knowing how much you've loved each other through thick and thin, you get to this sweet spot...this beautiful place of acceptance and appreciation - you don't try to change each other, you in fact love him just as he is and he you. The Juicy Peach Stage.  You'll find out the other stages of a fire marriage when you read Fire Wife.  

But in the meantime, enjoy some of my blog posts.  You can also visit my website for more reading www.firewifewise.com and don't forget to give me your email on the website so I can email you my newsletter.  I look forward to being a mentor to you if you need and I cannot wait to meet so many of you when this pandemic is over.   Talk soon. XOXO

When Your Son Says, "I want to be a firefighter."

When my eldest son told my husband and I he wanted to be a firefighter, I couldn't sleep that night. Any person who is with a firefighter and in particularly if you've been with a firefighter for a long while, you've seen what it does to them. You know where this is going to go. When my son told me he wanted to be a firefighter, I thought, there is just no preparing him for this. He wakes up today such a happy guy, he is nurturing to his dog and in his volunteer life to people who have no food, delivering groceries, helping friends to build a memorial playground for their deceased daughter and her boyfriend - he is there. But what will this do to him? What will it do to him when he learns that one bad day and night will pile up, layer after layer, after another. How will he go from car wreck and bagging up unidentifiable bodies to home where a happy wife and kids wait for him. Most likely he will just need to walk past them, up to a cool room to watch hours of mind numbing escapism instead of reliving tragedy after tragedy Yes there is the camaraderie, but there is also the initiation. The rookie year - the mental exhaustion of prank after prank; and so much to remember. Oh my God, your memory for chemistry combinations and the science of smoke, air, formulas, water pressure, has to be precise or someone could die.

On hot days I imagine my son in heavy turnout gear, sweating not only under a hot sun, but over hot pavement and hot twisted cars. I imagine my son walking up dozens of flights of stairs in smoky hallways carrying 40 lbs. of equipment.

My uncle was a firefighter.  My husband is a firefighter.  But my son?

Having a firefighter for partner is not easy. In fact, it is usually not the life you signed up for:  "Do you promise to be lonely, deal with moods, or PTSD?  You learn however to either sink or swim. You learn to see the positive (they are an amazing group of people) you learn to live the positive (more good days than bad days)  and you learn to focus on the positive (we are a lucky family with wonderful firefighter friends and support). If you don't, yes, you will sink.   My son believes he has the tools to work through those bad days because he was raised by me. (God I love that boy).  

My mother fears are valid  but they are not my son's. He has his path and most likely he will love his job. Most firefighters do. Even with all that they see, I would say that 99% of the firefighters I know say, "it is the best job on earth." 

We are living in vulnerable times. This is something I probably wouldn't be worrying about as deeply as I am if there wasn't so much angst and worry in the world right now. But I do believe that when fear comes up, we need to face it then ask ourselves if our fears are real or imagined? We are in a time of deep surrender and that can be tough when you are used to running the show!  There are a lot of things out of our hands right now but maybe that's what it is all about. Maybe this is the lesson.

The word TRUST came up for me today. In fact I just got a wonderful comment from another fire wife on my Instagram account that said, "trust in his training" though what she was referring to had nothing to do with my son. Her words however resonated with me. Within the embodiment of trust we have "faith, hope and a positive outlook." Life is good. God is good. Thank you for all of it.

In Times of Crisis - There is Also Opportunity

 We are in times of crisis and challenge but I want you to remember something. Crisis is also a good time for opportunity and if we choose, we can see this time as a gift, hidden or not so hidden and use this time to truly see with clarity that 2020 might just be what we all needed.

We are in a time of remembering both what is important to us and what truly matters when the cards are down. People have also suffered loss. But it is during times like these that I always become aware of just how many good people there are in the world, willing to help, support, care for and come together in unity. (Thank you a million times over to our health care workers, our first responders and to our front line workers that make sure we get fed, are still teaching our children and picking up our garbage.)

And though we are in unchartered times and we don't yet know how all of this will look when this all simmers down, in just 10 seconds, you can change your mind and your heart about how you plan to live today and more importantly, how you will plan to live going forward. Optimism is essential right now.

And by the way, optimism isn't a sugary sweet surface emotion or virtue that ignores what is currently going on in our world. Being optimistic is actually choosing to be realistic. Pessimism will focus on the least likely scenario and optimism focusses on the most likely scenario.

We are in a time of "re-ordered priorities." All those goals and dreams we were at times too busy to manifest, we now have the time. All those times you wished you could just stay home and write that book, well now is your time. All those days you wish you had more time with your family, well, you got it! We are cooking more, not spending as much moola, talking to friends and family remotely and having to be possibly more creative than we ever have before. And toilet paper? Did you ever think that toilet paper would be the hottest commodity in 2020? Did you think you'd ever wear a mask to go and buy groceries?

If you are feeling scared, or alone, and isolated this might be a good time to unearth what could be might be blocking you from your full blossom. Or to ultimately confront what you've been sweeping under the rug, to realize the patterns that have been holding you back. See if you can get assistance from a counsellor or life coach. If that is not possible, there are so many great professionals on YouTube who can certainly cheer you up and help you along. Use this time to practice extreme self-care.

Finally let me tell you what gives us all purpose and comfort as well as happiness during this time...helping others. Find out in your community what you can do. There are the elderly who could use a phone call, or how about new mothers who could use a chin wag over a cup of tea remotely of course. Our homeless also need sandwiches and supplies so give a call to a church in your area to see what you can drop off for their volunteers to distribute.

It's also a good time to focus on GRATITUDE. Science has proven that the practice of gratitude changes your brain chemistry and makes you feel better! It also helps you to see that there are smooth waters ahead.

It is because I know how powerful both Gratitude and Unity is that I've put together a little 30 day gratitude journal I'd love to email you. You can work on it knowing that there are other women from this page working on it right along side you!

Today I am sending you good vibes and lots of love. We will get through this and be better because of it. XOXO