Dreams of Your Own

The trajectory of my life changed drastically when my husband wanted to become a firefighter. I had been going to college to get my media degree when he made this announcement. To say I was unhappy about his choice was an understatement. Since then however, I managed to turn what I perceived as a negative into a positive....and not in a Pollyanna way. I would come to realize that sometimes we aren't in charge of our calling. While I might have wanted to get into the media and communications field, that's not what God had in mind. Let's not forget that God wants us to trust him and he promises that he will turn all of our challenges, our hurt, our disillusionment, our failures, into something GOOD! I see this now. My book, Fire Wife, Indomitable Standing Strong in my Marriage, my Life and my Dreams is soon to be published. I am super proud of it....though I could still add some things and take some things out, it's time to let it go. It is my first book and I've many more to come. So yes, while my life trajectory was changed my goals and dreams morphed into something else, I am still using all of my skills, experience and writing. I am grateful, I am happy and I get it. Grow where you are planted my friend and trust. It'll all work out and even better than you thought it would. Persevere. XO

Finally Getting Back to Normal

Good morning! It's a beautiful day here already on the West Coast! I went to my doctor the other day to get more blood tests to see WHY I CAN'T LOSE WEIGHT! My doctor wrote out a requisition for blood tests and then handed me a prescription for diet pills. Can you believe it? While I'm judging people who've had to take drastic measures, the idea of numbing the pleasure center part of my brain with an anti-depressant seriously horrified me. It horrified me because I'd just had a revelation the week prior that I think women who are overweight are just a whole lot of pleasure with no where to go. In fact I think a woman's natural state needs to be fulfilled with beauty,  adventure and pleasure. If we filled ourselves up with this everyday, we would all be off the charts happy. When you are married to a firefighter, you often feel lonely, but you can also feel stuck. Especially if you have little kids that you are predominately responsible for. When your "BPA" is not being filled up you can long for something and not know what it is. Let's be honest here. Our guys take up a lot of time. But you need to start caring for yourself. I gained weight, a lot of it, over a period of about 9 years. The reason why I couldn't lose weight was because my mind body and spirit is tired of me trying and going on extreme diets. I'd go on an extreme diet for two weeks and my weight wouldn't budge. That is because while some diets work for some people, I need to follow a low carb and lower calorie way of eating. Thanks, or no thanks to all these crazy diet gurus that have messed with our minds for the past couple of decades, we as a nation have stopped "intuitive eating." Your body knows what it needs. So now I follow my own D.O.S.E. remedy. It's about getting all the pleasure centers of my brain going so that I feel good and even more optimistic. I'll talk more about this soon as I am currently losing weight MY WAY. No prescriptions for me. I was thinking the other day, our entire country is obsessed with weight loss to the point of our souls feeling ashamed while simultaneously loving cooking shows! We need to stop doing without and need to live with pleasure, every meal! There is nothing wrong with loving food! This is my journey for a while and I'll share it with you. XO

Make Yourself a Priority

As I put the finishing touches on my Fire Wife book, I am recounting two interviews I did with my friends who are also fire wives. Both of them have said that because a fire marriage is not an easy one, you have to really make yourself a priority. My friend Leanne cannot emphasize enough how important it is to make friends with the other women whose husbands share the same shift as yours. My other friend Tara, made herself a priority by focusing on her career once her children grew up. Both women feel filled up and very happy. Every week it is so important that as fire wives you are checking in with yourself and remembering what you need to be happy and filled up. It could be like Leanne and finding camaraderie with other fire wives satisfying, it could also be like Tara prioritizing your long awaited career and dreams. Whatever it is for you, take time to make sure that you are getting what you need. Time to yourself early in the morning? Exercise? Networking with others? I applaud you for who you are. As we know this life can be grueling in some respects, but it is also very rewarding and very fun. Make yourself a priority. XO

Happy New Dreams!

It might be January 3rd, but the truth is, I'm still playing Christmas music, I've still got my tree up (until this weekend) and I am still taking it easy. Though the menu plan has improved and I'm going to boot camp tonight, this week is very special to me. Though I celebrate and live my faith all year long, I still can't let the romance of the season slip past me without totally immersing myself in it. I don't want to say, wow, that went fast: you shop, you visit and eat and before you know it, it's all over! Christmas for me is divided up into three parts. Besides the obvious reason for the season, the first part is of course, The Frenzie (we shop, we drop). The second part is for Family (Christmas parties, Christmas Eve, Christmas Dinner) and then the third part I have deemed, FOR ME! While I absolutely love and feel spiritually full after the season, this is my time for a new journal, a new vision scrapbook and a new chapter. Also, I like to participate in the popular tradition of picking a word that will represent the year ahead but also a word that I can rely on and refer to throughout the year. I actually picked two words, as I always do: Chosen and Captain. The word chosen refers to a Bible passage, Mathew 22:14 "many are called but few are chosen." One has to really study this verse because the end is quite brutal but it is a parable after all and it is Jesus explaining it. When you are chosen it is because, I believe, you want to raise your standard for how you live, how you behave and how you treat others. More than that however I think it is about who is willing to come to the banquet that has been prepared for you, who is willing to partake and participate, to dress up for the King. The word Captain is about me navigating my own life, my ship. That I am the Captain of my own life, a co-Captain actually to my God, but a Captain. Then something funny happened on New Year's Eve. The word Crochet popped into my head and I just had this desire and urge to do it. So I watched a tutorial online, picked up some yarn and a crochet hook and I'm almost done a scarf. I think it looks pretty good for a beginner! I feel like this might be leading me somewhere!!! So my dear girl, woman, fire wife, I hope you find your word for the year, I hope you write down your dreams and goals and I wish you the Happiest of all New Years! I will be publishing my book this year and I can hardly wait. I might change the title, but the book of course is still the same, and it's for you. XO